What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
