It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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