3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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