I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
