and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
