Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
