How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my poor anus
Randomize
