my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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