But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
