Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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