No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
