That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
