At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize