i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you didnt know i had herpes?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
