he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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