well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
