Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
