You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
