what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the condom got lost in my hair
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
