I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
