bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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