we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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