What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
