dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
