The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
