I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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