i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Say something about gay babies.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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