D3 body, D1 cock
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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