I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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