Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
