I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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