I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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