all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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