We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
