So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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