I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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