Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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