I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
