There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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