i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
