would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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