70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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