Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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