Sacagawea was the original milf.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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