please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
