I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
