I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
