i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
