Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize