even my farts smell like vagina
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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