At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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