Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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