coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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