I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm going to jail i love you
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
