It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
