piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
