I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
