i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
