she woke up with a sticky ear
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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