And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
