this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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