As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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